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Climate Change IS a Hoax!

Yes, that’s the conclusion of renowned activist Bill McKibben, who now concedes that when it comes to global warming:

  • the floods in Minnesota that even drowned animals at the zoo must have been produced by a Hollywood-type rain machine
  • tropical storm Debby (the one that flooded Florida) must have been whipped up by a giant fan
  • the fires in Colorado are just special effects.

colorado-wildfires-070412 duluth-floods-070412
Fires in Colorado, floods in Duluth, Minn.

Of course, it’s all tongue-in-cheek, and the bitter consequences are all around us.

An absurd number of catastrophes kept happening at the same time, just like in the best disaster films. On Friday, for instance, Washington set all-time heat records (one observer described it as like “being in a giant wet mouth, except six degrees warmer”), and then shortly after dinner a storm for the ages blew through—first there was five minutes of high wind, blowing dust and debris (and tumbleweeds? surely some tumbleweeds), followed by an explosive display of thunder and lightning that left millions without power.

McKibben argues, with biting sarcasm, that climate change is OBVIOUSLY a hoax; otherwise the people in the know (the government) would be DOING something about it.

If it was a real crisis, responsible authorities would be taking action. The president wouldn’t be approving new oil drilling in the Arctic on the very same week. The Interior Secretary wouldn’t be auctioning off a vast new store of coal. The Republican presidential nominee wouldn’t be promising to approve the Keystone pipeline to the vast tar sands of Canada as his very first order of business.

Clearly, the denialists, like the notorious Senator James Inhofe of Oklahoma, are right. Inhofe has called climate change science “the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people.” (Bigger even than the obviously-moon landing – we have better CGI effects today).

McKibben notes that Speaker of the House John Boehner says that the idea that carbon dioxide is “harmful to the environment is almost comical.” And Mitt Romney, who will say anything to keep the denialists happy, has blown off the need to take action, saying, “Scientists will figure that out ten, twenty, fifty years from now.”

Clearly climate change can’t be real. And now that America is on fire and under water, and both at the same time, it must be just a movie:

If Senator Inhofe is right, we can all relax. It looks real, but it isn’t—it’s just nature trying to compete with James Cameron. So please don’t shout fire in the global 3-D theater. Stay cool. And get a big tub of popcorn—in this epic disaster flick we’re not even close to the finale.

Bill McKibben’s campaign website to take action about the climate is 350.org.