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Dick Cheney’s Latest Gun Malfunction

cheney-092413Last time Dick Cheney had a gun problem, he shot his hunting partner in the face, neck and chest. The man suffered a heart attack, but survived.

That was seven years ago. Last Sunday, Cheney had a different kind of gun malfunction: At a “charity” antelope hunting contest in Wyoming, his gun wouldn’t fire.

According to UPI, the idea of the contest is to “pit two teams of hunters against one another to see which could kill the most number of antelopes with just one shot each.”

Due to the malfunction, Cheney’s team lost. (Actually, it was the antelope who lost.)

The event was for the benefit of Water for Wildlife, a non-profit that helps animals suffering from drought. As UPI reported it:

“Drought lowers the population of the animals,” said Terry Martin, a lifelong Wyoming resident. “From what I understand from the Wyoming Game and Fish, the antelope population is down 20 percent from last year.”

So, the point is to help stop the antelope from dying. And you do this by seeing who can shoot the most of them. We’re sure that this makes sense in some other universe.