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Cats and the Zombie Apocalypse


Good news if you live in North Carolina: Thanks to cats, especially kittens, you are almost zombie-free.

A study by the Wake County SPCA and the Scotland County Humane Society has concluded that no animal shelter in North Carolina has been invaded by zombies.

Darci VanderSlik of the Wake County SPCA notes that the common factor at all these shelters is that they have cats.

zobie-repellent-kitten-2-102213“Since no animal shelter in North Carolina has ever been attacked by zombies and all shelters have cats and kittens,” she said, “there is obviously a link.”

The SPCA is advising North Carolinians to protect their homes and families from attacks by the undead by adopting a cat at their earliest opportunity.

“We feel it is a public service to provide fellow North Carolinians with this important survival information,” VanderSlik said.

It’s especially important, she added, over the Halloween period, when the undead are extra-active and having a Zombie Repellent Kitten may be your only line of defense.

Apparently, this life-saving news has been slow to reach the American public. Shelters report that more people adopt dogs than cats. Yet there is little evidence that dogs – especially couch-potato “pure” breeds – are good at dealing with a zombie infestation.

“Dogs are more likely to approach a zombie in hopes of being given a treat,” explained cerberologist Professor Barkalot, who was not involved in the study. “When zombies wave their arms around, pet dogs think they’re going to throw them a treat. Only hungry stray dogs in packs have ever been seen consuming zombies.”

The undead are particularly leery of approaching black cats, and shelters often have an abundance of black felines.

A list of shelters in North Carolina that are certified zombie-free is here.