Westminster: a Pageant of Pornography
The Westminster Porn Show
Best in Shoes, 2016
The Freaks of Westminster
Best in Glow, 2011
Westminster Dog Show Nixes Adoption Ads
Today Show Investigates Puppy Mills
The BBC Investigates Dog Show Breeders
… and just for fun:
At the Westminster Show, you don’t get to see much of the contestants as they parade their dogs around the show ring. As usual, this year, it was mostly just from the thigh down. I guess that’s what the viewers prefer.
The males were all, frankly, rather drab in their gray pants and black shoes. Yes, this is still part of the AKC’s breed standard, but it makes the females show better overall. (Classic discrimination!)
The females were more impressive. In the sporting group, both the judge and the Lagotta Romagnolo’s handler wore blue, knee-length skirts that really showed off the muscle tone of their legs.
In fact, blue seemed to be the favored color for the females just generally. The handler of the Pointer had a blue skirt and good legs, even though her hair fell over her face whenever she leaned over the dog. (Not sure how many points they lose for that.)
But it was the German Short-Haired Pointer’s handler who won Best In Show with her white skirt and jacket. It certainly made her stand out better.
The judge and the Lagotta Romagnolo’s handler both wore blue, knee-length skirts that really showed off the muscle tone of their legs.
Most of the males had shaved faces and short hair. But the judge of the Working Group had a short, slightly graying beard. It did help him look a bit stern, but it would still have looked better if his owner had used some touch-up powder.
And while many of the dogs had shaved bodies and hairy legs, the female handlers generally had shaved legs and hairier heads.
The male judges wore tuxes, so they showed better than those drab male handlers. But the judge of the Terrier Group had his bow tie slightly askew, and the audience clearly preferred the Best In Show judge with his bright, white-spotted blue bow tie. He stood out better than the other males, but lost points because of his slightly hunched shoulders.
My own top choice was the handler of the Shih Tzu. (The dog remained politely out of sight behind his curtains of hair). In her purple knee-length skirt, shiny top, and flat, sparkly shoes, she was everything the discriminating viewer loves about this annual pageant.
And even though she lost to the handler in the white suit, industry leaders will doubtless be lining up to have her bred – maybe with the judge in the white-spotted blue tie. With his friendly face and her strong legs, the offspring would be worth every penny.